God give me strength:

for i am about to implode.
I'm home, its late, and my graymatter has reached flashpoint.

let me walk you through what led me to my current sorry state:

i wake up, LATE, i find a note waiting for me, to call Aunt B, a friend of ours who, as the note says, "has trouble putting her new computer together"..
hmm.. i thought: ok, should be no prob, i've previously done stuff for her sister, which proved mildly irritating cuz i got paid in FOOD. (yeah, "Will work for food", that seems to be the idea people have of me these days :)) )
so i ring her, and she's all nice and gonna come pick me up and later return me (and maybe give me a sandwich or something) and i needn't bring anything, just me and myself. (that's the other me)

so, along the road we talk:
A13: "congrats for the new pc"

B: "yeah, well, i got it 3 days ago, and still i can't figure out how to connect it"

A13: "its no problem, everything is color coded, blue into blue and green and so on.."

B: "What colors? there are no colors!"

at this point i'm thinking that the mouse and keyboard have black connectors, and henceforth the trouble in "putting the pc together"..

B: "oh, we didn't buy a FULL PC, just the Pentium 4 case, the monitor, the speakers, the keyboard and the mouse... oh why you looking at me like that? i saw FULL PC prices and they were so expensive, 700$s and more, the one i bought cost me much less than half that.. i bought it from Company X.."

at first my eye-brows attempted to leave my face, then came back with her explanation, i thought: she didn't buy a Brand-Name system, the guys at Company X (which is very famous and very reliable around here) must have custom-built it.. at least she seems smart enough to buy cheap..

at this point we arrive at the house, i am given coffee and a chocolate (here it comes, i think) and then i'm off to her daughter's bedroom where the pc "parts" are gathered..

i put the monitor on the desk (a nice LCD -17"ish?- she got it for like 200$.. one day i'll get one of those, they look and display nice) connect the cables and route them thru the back of the desk, then i put the keyboard and mouse in place, speakers as well, then i ask for the case itself so i can connect everything and leave early..

her little daughter (age 12) comes in, carrying the case single-handedly, as if carrying a cellphone or something similar of weight (i'm in shock for like 3 seconds, this girl is half my age, yet she's already carrying cases in ONE HAND?? Scary little girl!) .. in her other hand, a power supply.
i realize the case is empty.

"its missing one of the front panels, there's a hole in the front, but the DVD is there already"

oh crap. now i get it. the pc isn't connected MEANS: the pc COMPONENTS are autonomous.
from her description (a hole in the front/DVD) sounds like there are TWO drives, just one of them is connected.. what kind of a half assed company would semi-assemble a pc then deliver it?
still, crap.
i have to BUILD AND INSTALL. double crap.

i see the case, its empty, i open it and look inside, weird.. no drives. just some screws in a nylon baggie and a power cable. on the face of the case, a plastic panel where a drive can be installed reads DVD, the one below it is missing... looks like i'll just put the drive they have, here. hm.

ok, a deep breath..

"so A, please connect it?"
"sure aunt B, but where are the rest of the components?"
"there you go!"
she hands me the power-supply and a screw-driver.

"yes, thank you, now the rest, where are they?"
"here!"
i am handed a power-cable and a bridge-cable.

"yes that is helpful but the rest please so i can begin?"

"ohhhhh... there is ALL the rest in front of you! cant you see it?"

she is pointing at the case.

the one on my lap.

the EMPTY case.

"isn't it nice? Oh, and so CHEAP too, this pentium! i got it for 30$!! IMAGINE THAT! aren't i thrifty? now please can you hurry and connect it up to the screen? my brother just sent me, he's in my messenger!"

Oh. My. God.

this, is TOTAL VOCABULARY FAILURE.

THIS, is STOOL APPROACHING CRITICAL MASS.
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