Nigerian Money Scam:

Now, you should have heard about this already, it was on 20/20 some time ago, also featured on Yahoo! and some other media outlets: (just search for Nigeria, Money)

this is your basic scam where someone (originally from Nigeria) emails you asking for a little money, directly or indirectly, in return for vast fortunes (millions of $$s, blood diamonds, and any other legal/illegal currency in the world)

of all the cliched spam clones i got in 3 years, two stood out:

one claiming to be from a former general in Saddam's army, charged with smuggling billions of dollars in GOLD and U$D out of iraq, and needs an outside contact with a little money to fund the operation (this was made into a movie, right?)

and the other i received just few minutes ago, written with such detail and effort, i thought it was worth sharing: (also somehow it bypassed the 3 spam filters i have on guard, and landed in my inbox)

so, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, i hereby give you the Guinea Bissau-Benin Scam:

"

from Victorine J. Guelly Ch (Mrs)
Lot 255 Missebor
Cotonou, Benin Rep
West Africa.
Email: VictorineguellyATSifyDOTCom

Dear Sir,

This Is Mrs. Victorine J. Guelly Ch ,The Wife Of Late Laurent Hubert Guelly, Former Minister Of Defence And Chief Of Army Staff Of The Republic Of Guinea Bissau, West Africa , In The Defunct Government Of Frank Mbatha.

My Husband Died During The Last Coup, Which Deposed The Former Head Of State, Now Leaving Me A Widow. At The Wake Of This Occurrence, I Fled Together With My Only Child To Benin Republic And Took Refuge To Avoid Further Oppression From The Incumbent Government Who Have Seized All My Family Property And Seized All Accounts Belonging To My Husband And Other Ministers Who Died Along The Line.

Due To This Unfortunate Situation To My Life, I Am Now Desperately Searching For A Reliable And Honest Partner In Your Person To Assist Me In Receiving As Quickly As Possible, The Sum Of Eleven Million United States Dollars Only (Us$11,000,000.00) Which Is The Only Money That Is Still Safe And Intact Deposited By My Late Husband In My Own Name In A Finance Firm In Benin Republic And On My Behalf Too As His Trusted And Loving Wife. Deposit Evidence Is With The Lawyer In Benin Rep.

I Am Therefore Earnestly Requesting Your Kind Assistance To Receive This Fund In Your Country, For Safety. I Have Solidified Every Arrangement To Prepare Legal Documents At The High Court Of Justice Benin Rep Here And The Finance Firm Where The Fund Is Presently Deposited, Making You The Trustee And Beneficiary Of This Fund For A Hitch Free Withdrawal At Your Bank.

If I Will Get Your Positive Response To This Earnest Plea, As We Meet In Due Course, We Shall Be Discussing Further On Other Important Issues Regarding Mutual Business Relationship And Possibility Of Securing A Resident-Permit For Me And My Only Male Child, In Your Country.

I Am Not Comfortable Staying Here In Benin Republic Due To Security Reasons As My Life Is At Risk. I Must Confess That I Repose Much Hope And Trust In You, Assisting Me Out Of This Ugly Situation. Dear, I Am Earnestly Willing To Compensate Your Kind Efforts And Co-Operation In Assisting Me And My Kid With 30% Of The Total Sum, Which Is ($3,300.000.00), If You Can Offer Me This Unforgettable Assistance. Please Be Informed That I Am Contacting You Based On Trust And I Know You Will Not Fail Me. Please Do Not Disappoint Me, Your Security And Reputation Is Highly Guaranteed; Absolute Confidentiality
Should Also Be Adhered To.
Please! Please! I Pray Your Urgent Assistance.
Contact Me Immediately If You Are Willing To Offer Me This Help.

Please Send To Me Your Full Name, Address And Private Phone Numbers, To My Private Box VictorineguellyATSifyDOTCom So That We Can Proceed Immediately With The Change Of Legal Documents That Covers This Transaction.
The High Court Of Justice Of Benin Republic For Your Assurance And Utmost Guarantee Would
Cover This Transaction.

Please Help Me! This Is Legal And Hitch Free.

Waiting To Hear From You Soonest Remain Blessed.

Your's Sincerely,
Victorine J. Guelly Ch (Mrs)
(Widow)

"

Don't you just love it?
The Damsel-in-Distress/Pirates of the Caribbean story,
The flowing (yet inconsistent at times) style,
The precise legal wording,
The Capitalizing Of Each Word?

Grinning from ear to ear I am, also holding many other emotions regarding the poor soul who wrote this.
I just might feel with him, he most probably is doing this out of poverty (and the profiteering-from-idiots rush)
i said i just might.

however, i have nothing but utter and absolute contempt for any sub-human thing who falls for this sort of crap.
and believe me, there are many, MANY morons doing this. in all walks of life.

they are wasting the oxygen I should be breathing.

and don't anyone dare try to argue in favor of the donkeys who believe it.


---
this is not the post i promised earlier, i haven't thought it out yet.

THIS is a really funny piece about a guy who actually had patience and interest to write back:
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