!!! :D

30
"How would you feel about the fact that you're fighting a bunch of kids?
  • This is so wrong - these are children for pete's sake. I don't think I could fight them, even in self defense.
  • I'll do what I have to and fight just hard enough to win
  • To hell with morality, I'd be too busy pile-driving, crane-kicking, and bare-knuckle bashing them all the way back to kindergarten
"
Priceless!

Cubicle Shooting Alarm System:

now this is totally out of the blue, but i came upon this and just HAD to write about it!
this is THE coolest most useless toy ever!
i WILL be getting me one of these!
let me leave u with the full explanation:

Three Tiered Cubicle Defense:





The trouble with most alarm systems is that they are passive. Passive in the respect that they only alert someone to the intruder, but they don't fight the intruder themselves. Well, consider the Shooting Cubicle Alarm System a step in the right direction. Using technology adapted in Area 51 (by elves, of all people), we brought forth this three stage system to help protect everything in your cubicle - and beyond.

Each unit has an ever-watchful motion sensor. The first line of defense is lovingly referred to as Alarm 1. When Alarm 1 is tripped two very important things happen. First, it flashes and klaxons to signal an intrusion. But (and this is the kicker) it also arms Alarms 2 and 3 using invisible wireless signals. Alarm 2 also has an audible alarm, but it is louder than Alarm 1. It also will spot the varmint with a red light beam. Alarm 3 is the coolest; when it is tripped two safe (but surprising) missiles will be launched at the now-fleeing interloper. You valuables will be safe, your cubicle will be secure, and your foe will be embarrassed enough to leave your stapler alone for good!

Please keep in mind, this is a toy. It works really well, but you shouldn't rely on it to protect your gold bars or top secret documents.

Tri-Link Alarm System features:

  • Alarm 1 - Sound and light alarm; arms Alarms 2 & 3
  • Alarm 2 - Louder sound and light alarm; spots intruder with a red dot of guilty light
  • Alarm 3 - Fires two foam missiles at intruder.
  • Uses 7 AAA batteries (not included).


Watch it in action:



SOoooo Cool! well, maybe not THAT cool, if it actually tracked moving objects, now THAT would be awesome! still gonna keep it in mind though :D

of Windows and Linux:

well, the reason i've been away so long (with all apologies to friends and visitors here), is that i've been seriously considering swapping my operating system to Linux.
yeps. couldn't be more lame!

after all is said and done, i decided to dual-boot. windows on one hand, linux on the other, just in case i need photoshop or something.

now, work-wise, still the same situation, my second "audition" should be in a couple of days, i'm physically training my butt off, to the point where i was diagnosed yesterday to have multiple micro ruptures in all my limbs, and possibly my shoulders as well :D well, who said it was gonna be easy?

life-wise: nothing much. limbo it is. HOWEVER: its been said that soon, a royal pardon will come out on those of us with expired residency permits, in which you pay 50% of the fine, and be given 6 months of legal residency. nothing is official just yet, but many people "know people who were pardoned this way". in other words: hearsay.
so i guess it could go both ways.
oh well.

something that's been keeping me bristling these past few days, is the case of the Saudi woman sentenced to 200 lashes and six months in the big house, after being gang-raped 14 times.
no doubt you've heard about it.
if not, just google "Saudi rape victim"
after a lot of nonsense coming out of the courts, someone yesterday declared that this case will actually be reviewed. hmmm.

now what has been actually bugging me is one thing: how the hell didn't the 7 guys who raped the girl (and her boyfriend) didn't get their heads chopped off?

ah. after a quick review of the saudi judicial system, i got it: you see, basically its a do-what-you-may kind of system: depending on a judge's personal opinion. WHAT A CROCK!

--

back to the main subject:
sorry for the absence, again, for the nth time..

1) for Melantrys (and anyone else who wants to download stuffs in a less-than-legal manner)
check HERE, it might be of use to you :)

2) if you ever want to try linux: i recommend one of three distributions:

Ubuntu (and its derivatives)

Mandriva One

and the one i'm currently using: Kanotix.


oh, and whatever you do, dont buy a Mac! granted they look good, they work flawlessly, and so does Linux! plus its FRIKKIN EXPENSIVE!
i also tried installing a modded Mac OS X 10.4 on my machine, worked well, looked beautiful, but still.. something was missing!

and that something, is BERYL! personal screenshots and videos pending! meanwhile, check it out on YouTube:
however, this is NOT why you should get Linux: eye-candy is good, but safety and reliability should be your main concerns. Linux is simply better than windows at that.
--
sorry for writing in a broken staccato style, havent written anything for a while so it would take sometime to get things flowing again :)

not much of a real post: perhaps i got to go answer the previous comments :)

...

i'm writing this in the worst of moods.

just now Sharqiyah, an Iraqi satellite channel, broadcasted a video report about the Iraqi VP al-Hashimi, interviewing hundreds of boys kept in Tobchi prison without charges, for durations ranging up to four years.
i still don't have the full report yet, this is fresh news and i'm in no mood for translation. let other "well-researched" bloggers do that.
meanwhile, what i'll do here is just flip out in fucking anger.

In the video, you see al-Hashimi waltzing around the prison escorted by guards and what appears to be a nervous prison superintendant, randomly interviewing dozens of teens with visible signs of torture and trauma, asking them how and why and when and where.

you can clearly see the boys have been given a fresh haircut, a wash and a clean set of clothes, all prepped up for the VP's visit.
now i'm no fan of Hashimi, this guy is just another screwey politician, bringing this issue up at the right moment.
(Minister of Interior Bolani is in Turkey, PM Maliki is being spanked by our uncle and aunt: Dubya and Condy -Um Omar- Rice)

why didn't Hashimi do anything earlier? like he didn't know. yeah right.

(inspecting prisoners)
Hashimi (to someone outside the screen): "let THEM do the talking"
Hashimi: "so why are you here?"
child prisoner: "i've been held here for ten months because they told me there was a witness against me, i asked to see him but they dont show him, they just blindfolded me and made me ink my thumbprint on some papers i dont know what they are"


(inspecting food rations)
Hashimi: "What's wrong with this food, its good and its plenty" (a piece of chicken and a loaf of bread)
child prisoner: "yes NOW its good, but before they only brought us cheese and water"
SuperIntendant (butting in) : "Yes its just like what they wanted, sometimes they don't want
chicken, they ask for cheese" (WTF?)

Sunni, Shia, Arabs, Kurds, all kinds of kids were in there. and those are the ones we got to see.

Iraqi jails. pfft. even under the best of circumstances, where you are held in a private "detention facility", watched and cared for constantly under strict, explicit orders to "make it as easy for him as you can", it still won't be a good place.
i can only imagine what it is like NOW.

however, ONE thing made me feel better: he actually promised the kids to be released TOMORROW.

i cant find any links right now, google it up tomorrow, such a thing is bound to make an echo.


Outtake from Maliki's visit to Dubya:

Al-Maliki stressed that "the future of Iraq goes through the gates of national reconciliation, of political agreements."
"That is the way to assure ... Iraq's future," he said.
Bush, who has seen his popularity plummet because of mounting U.S. fatalities in Iraq, reiterated his support for the government, saying: "We're with ya, prime minister."

--
and that, is what i'm afraid of.


P.S.
tell you what: if that fucktard Hashimi actually holds up to his word, and gets those kids released before the week is over, he will have earned my undying respect as the first politician in iraq that actually did anything of value for the last 40 years.

P.P.S.
can you believe the size of the pair on AhmadiNajad doing the three-ring routine in Columbia U.!
Solid Brass i tell you!
still won't change the fact that he needs a wash, a shave and a better jacket.

The Adventures of Computerman

So, whats new with me you ask?
Well.. nothing much, its all work, day in day out, learning stuff, applying stuff..
some i already knew, only now i know how to do it faster and more efficient, some is brand new..

my opinions of Micro$oft have now changed a bit, they're not completely worthless ;)

i mean, regarding desktop operating systems, they are hands-down CRAP. i've been running three versions of Linux these past few days (Knoppix, Mandriva One, and Kanotix) and two more (Backtrack 2 and Wifiway 0.8) have almost finished downloading, and my love for all things Linux has reached new levels and still rising. damn i love the command shell!

BUT: i've also been running Microsoft Server 2003 (R2 AND SBS), and i'm expected to take a look at Longhorn, yeah as if i have time.
server-wise, they're good, granted you know what the hell is going on. Hiccups do occur sometimes and they range from minor headaches to reinstalling the whole goddamn thing from scratch..

the only thing i positively love about Micro$oft now is Active Directory and its services. Bravo indeed! :)

oh, i almost forgot:
VISTA IS RETARDED. DO NOT GET IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.


another thing i've learned is how to make unattended installation disks, now THAT is nice, just plonk the cd in the drive, restart, and walk away..

one thing i've failed to do is WEP/WPA attacks (ENGLISH: cracking wireless network security protocols) but i'm working on it.
the one thing that held me back is that i do not have the right wireless card which allows packet re-injection (ENGLISH: cracks security in 2 mins rather than 2 days).. sigh. thus the decision to get Wifiway and Backtrack. two linux operating systems dedicated to *cough* analyzing and probing wireless networks *cough*

okayz.

enuff of geektalk.

I WANT TO TRAIN :(
i've gained a few pounds this last month, not enough time to abuse my body like before.

also, my head has been hurting me for 3 days now, i think it might have to do with sitting so close to the wireless antennae all day trying to crack the local network.
hell, i bet after 10 hours running it could heat a frozen pizza.

tell u what, if i grow a second head i'll post pictures, ok?

ohhhkay, sorry, will report back again in a few days with a real post, containing real words, now i dont even have time to breathe.




----------------
Listening to: Velvet Revolver - She Builds Quick Machines
via FoxyTunes

Roadkill 13

"had a bad day today.."

short post alert
----------------
today, around 9am, while on a technical on-site visit (unpaid), i was ->this<- close to being pancaked into the asphalt.
i was walking to the main road, looking for a taxi, when an 18-wheeler zoomed less than two feet to my left, doing something like 120km/h, TWO FEET!
thank God i am heavy set, and balanced on my feet, or the vacuum would have mashed me against (then under) the truck.
stupid trucker.


then, when i got back, i was called over to the software firm next door, to install RAM chips on the file server.
now, that is NOT something difficult, the RAM only fits securely ONE way into the motherboard, no room for screw-ups, none whatsoever.

except when i hit the power button and set the server on fire.

FIRE!

tomorrow i'll find out what exactly happened and HOW. i just don't know how it happened. i've installed RAM chips a million times, on several PC's.. what the hell just happened?

oh and since i was the last one near the pc, it automatically became my fault.
my manager told me its ok, shit happens, and he'll take care of it, pending my first paycheck.

immediate consequence?
my no-pay period got extended to 6 months.

i keep blaming myself. if only i was sure it was my fault, or the hardware's, or..
oh well.

coming up for air

or "aNarki's got a brand new job"

now don't you stray too far there, it just means i got employed.
...


my story starts way back in time (if you are as sleep deprived as i am, if not, it was 5 days ago)
my website-design gig ended on a good note, maybe not as good as i would have wished for, but good nonetheless.. so anyway, i had to go out and find another job.

now that is not very difficult if you are still an undergrad, 20yrs, looking for a mail-room job somewhere; problem is, i'm a freaking engineer. licensed and unionized and all. i'm overqualified for McDonalds. i've graduated 3 years ago and my MSc.'s a faraway dream.

second problem was more of a Catch-22 situation: i have not enough moola to earn them fancy-schmancy MCSE/MCP/CCNA certs, BUT my chances of finding a real job to get enough $s for the certifications are VERY slim, because i don't have them certificates..

enough blabbing: i got my mind to it, and decided to go scouting for jobs in the area, if not, then i'll have to venture further out.
the first few places i went round to were internet cafes, no openings, no work, no jobs, sorry, and all that jazz.

i decided to knock on one more door before heading home, two computer companies, a software / web apps company and a hardware / networking security / Microsoft Partner company, next to each other.
Which to choose? which to choose?
well, it wasn't that difficult:
remember how i always say i don't like networking? how i only really like hardware because of my friends' influence? and how i always slam Microsoft products?

i chose the hardware / Microsoft one.

it had a nice red logo.


"knock knock"
"who's there?"
"got a job?"
"gottajob who? i mean, whadda ya do?"
"computer engineer"
"got a cv?"
"huh? oh right now? no."
"well, okay. step inside and get interviewed"

Hmmm. with a capital H.

let me paint you a scene: was only scouting, no cv, no picture, neither mentally nor physically prepared:
i am naturally shy and if not ready, can fumble and lose words like nobody's business
and i'm an Iraqi. with no residency.

and i got the job.

yeps. now i'm doing training, 3-6 months, 9am-6pm. no pay.
still, better than sitting at home, and the worst that could happen is that i would learn to install and operate Microsoft Exchange / ISA servers. not very bad, i can tell you.

now it would have been almost perfect, if not for the last four days, or rather, the first four days:
the company was given a free booth at this expo someplace near the airport, BIG warehouse converted into a convention hall thingy.
it lasted for four days, from 6pm-10pm, and naturally, as a trainee, i HAD to be there.
so basically i ended up pulling four 13-hour-straight shifts. and tonight was the last one. i still have to wake up at 8 tomorrow, but the happy thought is, i will be back home around 6.
there were moments i felt like i was drowning, body and mind heavy as lead, grasping for air.

at the moment it feels more like the first half of "Pursuit of Happyness" rather than the first half of "The Firm", but still, i hope the second reels get switched.


sorry for the cut-and-paste feel to this post, but i have no time or energy to be of more eloquence, AND i want to save some of the good stuff for later:

"Explaining the Marketing Business Model" by aNarki13

short version
--------------
frikkin Snake-oil salesmen, the lot of them. they'd sell me sunlight if they can bottle it. they should be staked to the ground and burned to ashes.

i had to freaking market our warez to a bunch of other people trying to market their warez to me. but THAT, my friends, is another story.

Married to the family

Life sucks when you're an Arab.
apart from all the crap we got in the last 20 years for being too stupid to speak out/act out against idiots who marred our collective name,
apart from that, life sucks in a whole other brilliant way.

you see: when you're an Arab, you're never ever really Yourself.
rather, you are You as interpreted by those around you.
Your life is a continuous struggle for power, an ant up against a colony.
You can't decide what to do, who to meet, when to dine without someone having something to say about that, and guess what, you'd better hurry up and listen. no other choice given.

Also, in Arab society, there's always someone higher up the foodchain than you, on the single merit that he/she is OLDER.
and again, your life does not belong to YOU. not entirely.
now, what choices does an Arab have?

well, apart from:
A) obey of your own free will, you can also:
B) Be stonewalled/shunned for being a "black sheep", and
C) Be damned in hell for all eternity for disobeying your elders. GASP!

its really funny: i thank God a million times over i have parents who raised me as a friend-son rather than an Arab-son, the rules above kinda mellowed. i was "prodded" in the "right" direction, rather than ordered.
my life, or at least big chunks of it, was really MINE.

i only started to notice "The Family" again when i started planning to get married.
suddenly i found myself wearing diapers again.
I did not know a lot of things, like how obviously important it is to invite one's grandmother's sister's cousin to your wedding party
or how important it is to HAVE a wedding party
("to keep face" yeah, right. As if i can ever lose mine. its been glued to my mug for 25 years now.)
or how your marriage will be deemed unacceptable in Heaven if you don't have overweight sweaty relatives gyrating around you trying to kiss you with garlic-breath while some 3rd rate singer is blaring out "Hallah, Hallah" for two hours straight.
(not that you can't afford a better singer, its just that in Arab weddings, there's always the obligatory 3rd rate singer)
Now, i don't want it. i don't even remotely like it. add to that a recent death in my wife's family, so it would be really uncomfortable for her, and that made the reasoning all the much better.
problem is, My Family No Go.

hmm. conflict of interests.
solution? simple:

Forceful Negotiations.
(Negotiating with a lead pipe. something along the lines of: "I earned enough money to do it all on my own, so stuff you and what you think. its MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY. Get Bent")

i did not have a party.
i did not invite great aunty whatsherface
and i did NOT have a musical reenactment of the Battle of the Bulge, thankyouverymuch.

anyway, that was Negotiating with MY Family. where i have already silently established leverage for years now.
Just as life was getting better, and i was starting to have pink visions of rainbows and kittens:

Enter the In-Laws.
its freaking hard enough trying to run ONE life by The Will of The Hive,
imagine how difficult it must be when you have a whole other Overmind sneak up on you in the shower when you were looking for that soap.
in addition to marrying the woman i've loved for four years straight, i found myself married to her family. core and extended.
for the past week they've had me singing the blues in C, for CRAP.

and the FUNNIER part is? since i used all my aces with My family, kicking some of them in the teeth along the line, i can no longer maneuver them to help me.
i'm not getting any help from my darling either. she's too busy trying to negotiate for herself.
i'm ALL ALONE. in the cold. and the coyotes are howling.
and its ripping me in two.

now i dont ever want to give the impression my In-Laws or my own family are bad people. no really. they are the best people one would wish for.
they're just Arabs.

Bloody Arabs.

----
for those of you who are Arabs and yet to marry:
just remember:
edit: Most Probably, i have had MORE freedom, MORE resources and MORE time than you.
Learn fast, you're up next.

Who? What? How? When?

Iraqi Resistance (Subtitled)

Thanks Red ;)

musing silently among the wicked + tribute

9 am. i find myself in the UNHCR-Amman "lobby", staring at nothing in particular, waiting for salvation.
The lobby is a shed connected to a hall, at the end of which is a corridor containing the interview rooms. i stare into nothing in particular.
a hundred other faces stare back at me. they all carry the same blank expression.
we all have stories to tell.
they all have the same ingredient, with optional additives:

someone was killed. something got taken. a raid here. an militia there.
add to taste and stir for 4 years.

the untouchables.
that's what we are. and not in a good sense either.

i'm there to apply for the refugee program.

my main reason?
being identified officially as a refugee protects me from deportation.

you see, no residency for this old boy, so no guarantees that my ass won't be hauled back "home" at the first random checkpoint. its unlikely mind you, but NOT impossible.
now, i can stop worrying about that, and start thinking about other things, like what color socks will i wear when i go to my uncle's house for his daughter's birthday.

well, not yet anyway, the interview went normally, i am given a "get out of jail free" paper, temporary, until i am called to be interviewed again, and maybe probably be given a permanent one.

its 12 pm. for the first time in many months, i can walk freely, mind unfettered.

i decide against going to my uncle's house.
i don't like going out much.

----

NOTE:
ALL PAY TRIBUTE TO LORD INDIA
HALLOWED TITAN OF ANTIQUITY;
PROTECTOR OF SCANDAVIAN VIRGINITY;
HE OF THE XBOX AFFINITY;
etc etc.
or something like it, anyway ;)

(see Indy man? i told u i'll make a proper dedication and everything, not that you can call that proper, honestly, but hey, its better than nothing!)

and Lynnette:
SEE? here's a post!
:D
not a "real" one i know.

Paris Hilton in Jail: the Music Video:

ok, now if there's any dead horse that i enjoy beating, its this one:
PARIS IS IN JAIL!

so anyway,
found this while on Sociocide.com:

Warning! Incredibly Harmful Virus!




If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.

  • It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.
  • It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles.
  • It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
  • It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.
  • It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
  • It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
  • Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal.
  • It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
  • It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their dates and rendezvous to your Visa card.
  • Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.
  • It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
  • It will refill your skimmed milk with whole.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

These are just a few signs.
Be very, very afraid.

---------------------------
.. don't you just hate those "FWD: VIRUS ALERT!!!!!!" emails you get from EVERYONE?
well, i for one, do.

will be back soonish.

Jasim Show - In Movie Theaters soon:

"Iraqi comedy movie inspired from the Muppet Show , Its a funny story about Jasim (Kermit the frog the Iraqi version) who wants to sell his theater after he believed that art means nothing to Iraqis these days , he met few guys who convinced him that art will never be worthless . Art is everything in life and together they can build the theater again . This can be the hilarious and the biggest Iraqi comedy film ever made . You should watch the full version that will be released very soon in theaters in Amman , Damascus , Baghdad and maybe Dubai" -- BlankCreative

hmm. i don't know if they have a license from Henson for this sort of thing, but it is funny in Arabic, real funny :D
these are the same group of ppl who dubbed into Arabic the first batch of "spoof" movies:
Starwars Ep.I, Lethal Weapon 1, and Indiana Jones 2.
so anyway, i doubt you'd understand it if you can't speak the local Iraqi dialects, suffice to say, it is funny, and the imagery while needing improvement, is good enough :)

for all the Iraqis out there, enjoy:

Have Fun while i find something good to write about:

this is some seriously funny stuff i found at somethingawful.com:
for all the geeks out there: the forth one down is a killer :))

The Great SQL NASTY:

(or the story of how I got my first PAID freelancing job)


well actually, no, it is about how evil and messy Microsoft (AKA Skynet) products are. but you'll find that out for yourself soon enough:


A couple of guys i met decided they wanted organization websites for their.. er, organizations, one which was more like a database for people who want to register their names online in the organization which will then go forth to find them jobs and whatnot,

the other was a regular site with links, addresses, photo-albums, mission-statement etc etc etc


so anyway, i was told i'd have to build the sites, then assume Administration and Tech-Support roles, AND that they'd meet me in two days, that was 3 days ago:

now, i'm not very much into networking, i'm definitely a software-apps guy, and a little hardware influenced by my buddies V-Knight and Red Serpent.
so, naturally, while i knew how to setup an SQL database and query it OFFLINE, i had no clue how i can build an online interface/registration form and link it to the database and then proceed to getting/putting info into the DB:

so, after a little googling, i found this beautiful little tutorial:
Recipe: Deploying a SQL Database to a Remote Hosting Environment (Part 1)
Oooh! how sweet :)

now, there they said i'd need something called: "Database Publishing Wizard", so i went and got it, then, turns out i need something else called:

Microsoft Visual Web Developer, Express Edition

in order for this thing to even be installed, it needs:
Microsoft SQL Server 2005 Express,
Microsoft.NET framework 2.0,
Microsoft SQL Server Native Client
,
Microsoft SQL Server Management Objects,

aaaand MSXML 6.0 Parser and SDK (whatever the hell that means)

in short:
118.1 Megabytes of assorted crap spread out across the MSDN website.

now: if they so apparently need all these parts to work even, can't those overpaid zombies at MS at least collect them all into ONE INSTALLER PACKAGE????

THIS is why I LOVE BORLAND, Patron Saint of the Poor Programmer:
if you want to install the new Turbo C# (or any other tool), you CAN download the prerequisites each separately, or bunched up together in one big, happy file.

so anyway:
i install everything and build my own site complete with SQL database and all: but, the webspace i got for free (from the gracious people over at www.freehostia.com) doesn't let me off that easy, and is not 100% compatible with Microsoft products. huff.

i wasted 15 straight hours of my life trying to get the freaking thing to work.
screw it. i'm using kiddie scripts.

this is a post of frustration:

This is Blasphemy,
This is Madness..
THIS IS MICROSOFT!
...

Anyway, one of them (they are two unrelated parties) was so gracious to actually offer me money to do the site, i mean, hey, i honestly tried to refuse and all, i DO have a reputation to keep, but he was very insistent: plus, he told me literally:

"We have to hire you so we can later fire you"
works just fine, if you ask me.

aaand its off to work we go. Hey Ho!

Got Milk? عندج حليب؟


احتدم جدل بين علماء دين في مصر ووصل إلى البرلمان بعد فتوى لرئيس قسم الحديث بجامعة الأزهر، تبيح "إرضاع الكبير"، في وقت انتقدت عدة صحف تدريس كتاب في هذا القسم يؤكد أن الارضاع يحلل الخلوة بين رجل وإمرأة غريبة عنه في مكاتب العمل المغلقة.

وقال عضو مجلس الشعب عن كتلة الاخوان المسلمين صبري خلف الله إن نحو 50 نائبا في البرلمان تدارسوا هذا الموضوع مساء الأربعاء وأعربوا عن قلقهم من انتشار هذه الفتوى اعلاميا، واقترح بعضهم تقديم طلبات احاطة، لكنهم اتفقوا على ارجاء ذلك، واعطاء فرصة للأزهر والاعلام لوقف الخوض في هذا الموضوع الذي أثار حالة من اللغط الشديد في الشارع المصري خصوصا في أماكن العمل التي تضم موظفين وموظفات، وعندها قد يمتنعون عن طلبات الاحاطة منعا لحدوث زوبعة برلمانية قد تساهم في تضخيم المسألة وتضر بالاسلام.

كان د.عزت عطية رئيس قسم الحديث بكلية أصول الدين بجامعة الأزهر فجر مفاجأة حيث أباح للمرأة العاملة أن تقوم بإرضاع زميلها في العمل منعاً للخلوة المحرمة، إذا كان وجودهما في غرفة مغلقة لا يفتح بابها إلا بواسط أحدهما.

واكد عطية لـ"العربية.نت" أن إرضاع الكبير يكون خمس رضعات وهو يبيح الخلوة ولا يحرم الزواج، وان المرأة في العمل يمكنها أن تخلع الحجاب أو تكشف شعرها أمام من أرضعته، مطالباً توثيق هذا الإرضاع كتابة ورسميًا ويكتب في العقد أن فلانة أرضعت فلانًا.


Translation:
---------------

Some twisted fuck (specifically Prof. Izzat Attiyah, Head of Hadeeth Department) at Azhar School of Theology -the HIGHEST religious authority for Sunnah- stated last week that a man cannot be alone with a woman in a closed room, which creates serious problems for co-workers/secretaries in the Muslim world.
the solution?

Breastfeeding.


yes, you read that right.
good old-timey udder-sucking.

According to Dr. Attiyah, the woman has to breast-feed the man five times, and thus he'll be related to her by "feeding" and thus will be perfectly halal for them to co-exist in the same place at the same time, still, he can marry the WOMMAAANN if He so wishes, as breastfeeding in this case would permit co-existence AND marriage.

... ^(O_o)^...

i've followed this case all of last week and i am satisfied with the ending:

the fatwa was declared Bullshit by the Azhar, and the perverted ass-wipe was suspended from work then kicked out despite his apologies and his withdrawal of this B.S. fatwa.

you can find more details online if you want.
it'll give you another seperate fatwa from a similarly-big-shot mufti about how blessed it is to drink the Prophet's urine.

!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!!!

i'll only tell everyone this: the guy is obviously related to Tub Girl.
closely related. maybe he IS Tub Girl.

who's Tub Girl?
i'd include the picture itself but you'd lose your lunch. look for it yourself if you think you are tough enough.

(i havent looked for english versions, but hey, i gave you all the details you need to look for it yourself. so scoot.)


this kind of retarded crap seriously damages the whole of Azhar's (and Islam's) credibility.
this "person" is not just anyone, he is A DEPARTMENT HEAD IN AZHAR COLLEGE.


...sigh.

this is why i don't believe in Organized Religion(TM).
And neither should YOU.

such people are wasting oxygen which I WOULD BE BREATHING INSTEAD.

global warming? -> Izzat Attiyah.

ok, let's not tap the obvious workplace milk-tea in-the-morning jokes, let's think this over quietly:
WHAT ABOUT NON-LACTATING WOMEN?
HOW THE FUCK CAN THEY BREASTFEED?

finally, as i like to say in similar situations:

"Men have two heads, oh how blessed will be the world if but they let the larger one do the thinking"

Michael Bublé - Call Me Irresponsible


this is a non-review:
--------------------

Damn he's slick.
i can easily say Bublé is the Sinatra of this generation:

Michael Bublé, Norah Jones, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Alicia Keys oh and of course, Joss Stone.

In the age of the Paris Hilton pop single, the fact that these guys are actually selling records is one of the very few things stopping me from losing faith in this generation having ANY musical sense AT ALL.


heard about the new Paris Hilton tribute band? yeah, i was so impressed with her rendition of "Stars are Blind" i went out and formed a band to do Hilton songs, called

I GOT BLISTERS FROM THE HILTON SISTERS

yeah, that's like, totally sweet.

pfft.

Tae Kwon Do: GOOD

i'm not kidding, this is better than 90% of ALL TKD i've seen around.

...well..i can't bring myself to say it..
its GOOD.

well: good techniques, still some inherent faults (stance is too wide, hands drop to waist level, Kicking > Punching)
but still, this is good FOR TKD. i mean, 3rd Degree black-belt? in comparable arts, the applicant has to fight 30 equally-skilled opponents in succession (and sometimes in pairs) to get to 3rd Degree. testing takes anywhere from 6-8 hours straight.
its no joke, 3rd Degree.

but anyway, if you are TKD, or if you know someone who's TKD and want to cheer him/her up:

Cho's TaeKwonDo: 3rd Dan testing

Street Fighter: CroCop vs. A.Emelianenko version

EVIL has never sounded so good:




I've had this in queue for a LOOONG time, based on a recommendation by Mix Max (someone who REALLY knows his Sabbath)
i love Dio.
you can't like metal if you don't love Dio.
if you don't, then you are one of those people who listen to Linkin Park/Evanescence. 'nuff said.
i respect your choice, alternate lifestyle and all that.


ANYWAY:
------------

short version:
GET THIS NOW. DL it, love it, then go buy it LEGALLY. anything, just whatever you do, GET IT NOW.

bit-longer version:
this is a musical compilation, a journey through 4 albums of solid, delicious heavy metal.

16 tracks / 1hour 20 mins almost:
the last three tracks were written fresh for this album, and let me tell you if there is something other than wine that gets better than age, there are TWO:
Dio
Tommi Iommi (on Guitars)

this is heavy metal. if you want to introduce someone to heavy metal, give him/her this.
if you disagree, then do what you please, just keep the damn child away from Linkin Park.

Highlights of the Album:

1- Neon Knights : Dio goodness! Tommi Iommi does some crazy Satriani shit before Satriani himself knew how to do it!

3- Heaven and Hell : damn this song. damn this song to hell. the lyrics are ugh'ish but you'll be too busy going "Heaven and Heeeaaaaallllll" with Dio.

14- The Devil Cried : tears of joy, after hearing this song.

16- Ear in the Wall
: perfect Black Sabbath.


-just in case you are wondering how come everything i review is Excellent, Great, and Must Have Or Die, its simply because it IS. I DON'T REVIEW CRAP-



i'm just addicted to the pure unadulterated devil'ness that is this evil, horrid little man, Ronnie James Dio.





if you want to know what's all this fuss about, i recommend you to listen to two tracks (available FREE and LEGALLY thru yahoo! music)

1- Holy Diver
2- The Last in Line

and Then Some!

Systematic Chaos


That's the new DreamTheater Album.. out in June (June 5th)

In an interview with Tama.com, drummer Mike Portnoy described the album as "Heavy and technical, powerful and dynamic — all of the elements that people kind of expect out of a Dream Theater album. All of the styles and sounds are intact, but we wanted to make it a real sonic explosion. It's very dramatic and aggressive."

AMEN.

so anyway, i got it yesterday, listening to it still..
i'm yet to form an opinion, but i'm 4 tracks deep and it all feels like a mish-mash to say the least.. a delicious mish-mash YES, but still a little bit of everything..

01- In The Presence Of Enemies: the first and last tracks sound a lot like something out of LTE 1 (they are actually ONE song split in two, placed at the beginning and end of the album cuz of "Studio Pressure") that said, love the guitar tone: overdrive, not so sharp, this tone is so fat its obese.

02- Forsaken: is good ol' typical DT goodness. lovin' every note of it: also, Petrucci steals from Wylde, Batio, and Malmsteen and plays it all with a WD40-coated guitar.

03- Constant Motion: seriously sounds like OLD SCHOOL heavy metal: not just the song structure, but even the very chunky guitar tone Petrucci's using..


04- The Dark Eternal Night: exactly the kind of song that would come out if Dave Mustaine sang/played a song with Antrhax.. oh, and whatshisface, Pantera's drummer, (Vinnie Paul?) he's on board too :)
whoa, the second half of the song, and all bets are off! this is LTE2 all over again!

OHHH LOVE THAT HARMONIC PINCH! Petrucci is doing something illegal to that guitar! :))

05- Repentance: hmmm.. now where have i heard this song before? it begins like a copy of "THIS DYING SOUL" DreamTheater-Train of Thoughts '03. SHIT! IT EVEN BEGINS WITH THE FIRST LINE! damn they did it again: the first time was in the "Root of All Evil", in Octavarium. they also stole a couple of lines from this song. what's the deal??

06- Prophets of War: now THIS is a royal f*ckup if i ever heard one:
this is so progressive its RETRO:
you've got sounds straight out of Jarre, Duran Duran, Ace of Base (the whispering voice in All That She Wants), and i'm still half-expecting Devo to Whip It anytime now.. (now that was serious badass)
7 words: this is a song for tree-huggers.


07- Ministry of Lost Souls: hmmm.. the first half is melodic LSD. Petrucci tunes in to some Soundgarden tones, Iron Mike is less than inspiring here, bass is driving, keyboards.. well, Rudess IS an alien, and therefore can do no wrong.
La Brie is fresh. really good.
SECOND HALF: here comes the cavalry! pick slides, palm muting, bleepbloopbleepbrlbrlwrrrl its Soloville! HALLELUJAH its '92 all over again! Rudess phoned home in the first half, and now the mothership came a'calling!
Iron Mike demonstrates why he's called that, IRON Mike Portnoy!

you might wonder why i spoke little of Johnny Myung: well: he's ALWAYS reliable, the poor guy, no matter who's screwing with what around him, you can always be sure he's there, keeping it steady and strong. a big hand to John Myung!

so far, this album feels like LTE2, mixup of everything, written with emphasis on guitars, trying too hard to surprise. so far its working, mind you :)
this is only the first impression, i'm betting i'll be hooked in less than 48 hours.


still, nothing can top Images and Words. ( except Metropolis pt.2 ;) )

Rika Ishikawa vs Glaube Feitosa

Rika Ishikawa from the "Morning Musume Show" takes on Glaube Feitosa (IKO) in a tile breaking contest (subbed)

:D he was worried for a bit there!


The Sidewinders .. more details coming soon..




The Sidewinders: NY Jazz band

found at

http://www.thesidewindersmusic.com/live/

drummer is practically my brother. we were inseparable till age 7, then he left off to NY, we both lost contact of each other, till i met him here about ten days ago or so. after 17 years :D

details later.

WTF?? U.S. walls off Baghdad neighborhood

"BAGHDAD - U.S. soldiers are building a three-mile wall to protect a Sunni Arab enclave surrounded by Shiite neighborhoods in a Baghdad area "trapped in a spiral of sectarian violence and retaliation," the military said.

When the wall is finished, the minority Sunni community of Azamiyah, on the eastern side of the Tigris River, will be gated, and traffic control points manned by Iraqi soldiers will be the only entries, the military said.

"Shiites are coming in and hitting Sunnis, and Sunnis are retaliating across the street," said Capt. Scott McLearn, of the U.S. 407th Brigade Support Battalion, which began the project April 10 and is working "almost nightly until the wall is complete," the statement said.

It said the concrete wall, including barriers as tall as 12 feet, "is one of the centerpieces of a new strategy by coalition and Iraqi forces to break the cycle of sectarian violence" in Baghdad."

found HERE

seen below is a picture of a Shi'i militia leader who regularly comes in to hit Sunnis:













seen below is a proposed diagram of how the wall around A'adhamiya (Azamiyah my ass) will protect the denizens from this evil, evil man. with the help of security personnel (also present in the diagram) posted along the wall:











WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS?
FIRST SOME IDIOT THINKS OF A MOAT (the previous baghdad security plan)
and now THIS??

i am having an insightful future reading moment now: allow me to share with you:

this plan will fail horribly as did the ones before it. why? because they are not going after the real "headS" of the snake, those hiding behind official positions and titles.

however, i also predict one successful outcome of this wall plan:
it will make life even more miserable for the inhabitants.

MISHMASH OF SORTS: UFC - The ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP






AAAAAAAARGH NOOOOO WHYYYYYYYYY


Heavyweight bout:

Flag of Brazil Gabriel Gonzaga defeated Flag of Croatia Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipović via KO (Head Kick) at 4:51 in Round 1.

i jinxed him. i just know i did


AAAAAAAARGH.

oh well.


------------------------------
NO CROCOP vs. COUTURE NOW.. sigh. but then again, after last night, i doubt it would have been as exciting.
------------------------------
its official, from now on i'm not pimping any fighters here. or events. BEFORE the actual fight.





TOMORROW! UFC 70!
Possibly the ONLY UFC i'll ever watch.. (i hate UFC.. too much Hollywood, i mean: whats with the cage? more on that later)
anyway, Tomorrow "The CroCop" fights for a once-in-a-lifetime chance.. the chance to qualify for Randy Couture! hmm.. i guess i could well be the only one who made sense of the previous sentence.. let me try again in layman's terms:

there's this guy Randy Couture, ok?







He fights in this organization called the UFC. sweet?
Couture is the biggest meanest baddest SOB (not SoB) this side of Fedor Emelianenko. who's that you say? thats the reigning BADDEST MAN IN THE WORLD.







FEDOR. you can bleed him, you can break stuff off of him, he'll still sub you.
nuff said. Fedor fights in a separate organization named PrideFC.


now, there's this third guy, Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic, who had previously tried his hand (left foot, actually) at Fedor, and lost honorably.







CroCop quit Pride shortly after and joined UFC because he thought he had accomplished all he could, and it was time to move on.. well.. at least now cuz of that move, i am a bit interested in UFC as well.

Cro Cop is a legendary fighter, one of the world's best, the first to win over (and KTFO) Bob "The Beast" Sapp. now THAT was worth seeing! (tx to Kyubei for providing the footage)



a picture of Bob Sapp:





now CroCop wants to try his foot at Couture. scary stuff. Couture is like 40-something, and CroCop is 32..now, if Couture wins, it'll be MYTHICAL. LEGENDARY. all the UFC meatheads will crown him king and worship at his feet, and we (who are interested in this sort of shit, all two of us i guess) will never hear an end to "Couture is Captain America, Couture is Superman, hell, Couture eats Captain America AND Superman for breakfast, at the same time" etc.

if Cro Cop wins (which i think will happen) then those idiots will say it was unfair to Couture cuz of the age difference etc.
oh and by the way: Cro Cop is the SHIT.

anyway, in order for THAT fight to happen, Cro Cop has to win over yet ANOTHER bad-ass by the name of GABRIEL GONZAGA.





who that? scary mo'fo. that's all you need to know. real scary and competent at what he does.


that fight is tomorrow.
i want to see Cro Cop win tomorrow. i want to see Cro Cop win over Couture. Cro Cop deserves some glory after all the shit he got in PrideFC.


now the weird part is over:

why do people think MMA contests (UFC,PrideFC,Pancrase,etc) are brutal? why do people think they are barbaric?
Dont they have brains?

MIXED MARTIAL ARTS IS ONE OF THE, IF NOT THE SAFEST CONTACT SPORT. EVER.

it is safer than boxing
it is safer than football (that's OUR kind of football AND the OTHER kind of football)

all in all, statistically speaking, MMA fighting is as safe as Cheerleading.

people who publicly state otherwise are STOOPID.
check THIS for proof of what i say.

i speak of ANYONE who has no problem watching stupid team games where athletes kick each other in the nuts trying to hit a single leather spehere, yet have an aneurysm the moment they see two people test each other's and their own limits in a contest where no-one else is there to save your ass if you screw up.

oh, and Boxing is stupid as well. God gave you legs, why don't you use them, dummy?


oh, and do you know WHY team-sports are so popular?
its cuz we humanz is so stoopid.

its all because of some ancient idiot not wanting to finish second-place, so he thought: "heyyy.. if me and the other guy compete ON THE SAME SIDE, that way, we BOTH WIN." so he went off and invented team-athletics.

so, other idiots see this, and they KNOW they can't get FIRST place, so they use his idea as well, the idea grows..
the idea becomes an institution.

how ironic is that, even in team sports, fans always tend to pick someone out as #1. Zidane, Beckham, Babe Ruth, oh etc. you get the drift.

you know why "street soccer" is now a HOT item? because people are starting to realize FEWER over-paid dumbasses on the playground equal more fun, more INDIVIDUAL SKILLS.
and what's with the gigantic Goal area? couldn't they make it any bigger? what if a truck wanted to go through it for some reason?
if it was up to me, i'd make the Football goal area as big as Hockey's.

that way i can justify all the millions the top strikers are getting paid.

--
anyway, sorry if you like team sports, please feel free to think i wasn't talking about you.

meanwhile, check out this killer Martial Artist demonstrating his "KROTTY" skills.

HA HA HA

ok, so i have nothing to write about ATM. i've been running around the Bullshido forums for so long now that almost anything i say would be of ZERO interest to the !MA world, i got this by email, so, instant post solution!
have fun testing your wits! i managed to solve 6 or 7 maybe (CORRECTION: FIVE ONLY :'( ), the rest were too hard or too..out of sight :D

here goes:

Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.

Think like a wizard .


man
1. ------------

board



Ans. = man overboard


Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.



stand
2. ------------

i
Ans. = I understand


OK .
Got the drift ?
Let's try a few now and see
how you fare ?



3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/





Ans. = reading between the lines




4. r
road
a

d






Ans. = cross road

Not having a good day now, are you ?

Redeem yourself.


5. cycle
cycle
cycle






Ans. = tricycle

Not easy to figure out ha!


0
6. ------------
M.D.

Ph.D.







Ans. = two degrees below zero

C'mon give it a little thought ! !


knee
7. ------------

light







Ans. = neon light
( knee - on - light )


U can prove u r smart by getting this one.


8. ground
---------------

feet feet feet feet feet feet






Ans. = six feet underground

Oh no, not again ! !


9. he's X himself






Ans. = he's by himself

Now u messing up big time.


10. ecnalg






Ans. = backward glance

Not even close ! !


11. death ..... life







Ans. = life after death

Okay last chance .................


12. THINK







Ans. = think big ! !


And the last one is real fundoo - - -


13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb...





Ans. = long time no 'C'
( see )

No more boom boom for this Baby-San:



"See the sonsaBitches what they did to the bridge??"
My friend Q on the destruction of Sarrafiya bridge

"See? See? even THEY do it! I'm NOT a sissy-boy I tell you!"
Ban Ki Moon on Jalal alDin alSaghir doing a 10.0 backflip off the podium

"Ohhh my frikkin' head... hammered"
Superfly on the Council explosion


Ahh screw it all to hell. Three politicians wasted, So What?
Three dozen are already lined up to replace them.

I feel more hurt by a big pile of rusty steel falling in the river Tigris, than by the death of flesh-and-blood human beings, "elected" to govern us.

Why? because i FEEL MORE CONNECTION WITH THAT LUMP OF STEEL THAN WITH THOSE DEAD FUCKS. AND THE REST OF THE OTHER WANKERS IN THERE GONE GOT THEIR ASSES HALF BLOWN OFF.
LET THOSE (....) FEEL WHAT THE REST OF IRAQ IS GETTING UP THE ASS.
WITHOUT K-Y JELLY EVEN.
(insert proper descriptor of your choice)


all said and done, God have mercy on the dead.


and i didn't mention the number of civvies who were killed/injured at the bridge incident. If our leaders believe the civvies are worthless, why should i, humble sheep, dwell upon this matter?

i'll just click around to read about Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern's Mama.



update: check the pics.



















...

i still dont buy the official story. same way i didnt buy the Jund el Sama'a story way back in the day.


for further structural details on what the bridge basically looked/looks like, this is a very very crude sketch of the bridge as i can remember it, before and after the boom:



done using MSPaint, there are some mistakes and things i missed (one is the connection points between frame segments, the other is the missing frames in the AFTER part) sorry. if i had more time i'd redo it.
(the errors tick me off, but not so much as to do it again)

the green ellipse is where i believe the ONE TRUCK theory takes places. it still does not sufficiently explain the other segment falling.. marked with the (???)
i'm thinking two points of impact that killed off the two supporting columns.
if it WAS one bomb, i think the one who designed it/executed it should be giving lectures in Civil Engineering classes.

Update:
fixed the stuff i think was wrong with the previous incarnation of the crappy sketch.
Also, David convinced me there could be only one bomb after all.. still.. i really have a trust-issue with people in charge :) something always smells when they're around.

Final Update:
What If?
While discussing this subject, i didn't find a sufficient motive for anyone to do this, some people were talking the usual shit: "American Planes hit the bridge, they want to close all bridges on Tigris" Why??? and no one would give me an answer. at least one which is not easily thrashed.
if they really wanted to close the bridges all they need is a few slabs of concrete and a length of barbwire.
STOOPID.

some are talking the more current shit: "Sunni's/Shia's/Zogs hit the bridge, they want to establish front lines across baghdad" Why??? i mean, if i wanted to go kill people on the "other side" wouldn't i want to go back to my people again? how would i get there in the first place? by boat?? besides, Thawra/Sadr City (Shia) is actually close to A'adhamiyah (Sunni), and it takes only a few minutes drive ON LAND to get from one to the other.
ALSO STOOPID.

so, i am left with two possibilities i could think of:

A) it was done by bloodthirsty terrorists for the purpose of terror: BUT, wouldn't they have chosen RUSH HOUR? it went off at 7am, if i wanted to achieve maximum mortalities, i'd blow it between 12-3 pm.

B) it was a screw-up. somebody set the timer wrong, and the bomb blew up EARLY, en route to its intended target. which is reasonable, seeing that the killers wanted to travel when the roads were still relatively free.. besides, there are a number of army/political party targets in that area (waziriyah) most of which are light to moderately guarded.

strange.
that is, IF the truck-bomb theory proved right. if remnants of explosive charges were found, then all bets are off.

what do you think?