Hot Topic of the day (night) : Prank Calls

Ahh.. We Arab types never grow up.

What is it with prank calls?

Today I was walking with a couple of friends, trying to look serious and full of cash while in reality we didnt have 10$ between us and the only serious thing we could think of is that we had less than 10$ between us..
right there, just while I was counting coins to buy a coke, my phone rang, now, I see a new number, hmm.. wrong number again?? (keep in mind, my phone is Nokia 6260, extraordinarily loud, if its calm enough, everyone can hear what the OTHER guy is saying!)

I pick it up.

me: "Hello?"

a female voice: "Helloooooo Hayati!" (Hayati = My Life)

me: "Huh??"

her: "How are youuuuu??"
(at this point the girl at the other end sounds like she's busy doing something not eligible for publication)

me: "Huh??" again.

and: "Who the flying squirrel are you? What do you want? Who gave you this number? What are your leanings?" sounding like a police investigator, a rather surprised one..

her: "Ohhhh I am Muna -alias- I want to talk to youuuuuu, youuuu oh AnaRki13 -another alias-"

me: "Who gave you this number?"

her: "You did, last weeeeeek... ohhh.."

me: "IMPOSSIBLE. Now lady if you'll excuse me, I have to go.."

-clarification: Now, I do like women, just not ANY woman!-

her: "wait wait why are you so angry with meeeeee??"

me: "Lady, the cellphone was NOT invented for flirting and useless crap, now please do NOT call me again."

her: "wait wait waiiiii.." beep beep.

at this point I am both surprised and angry. I did NOT give my phone number to anyone, especially not this "Muna".. Oh hell.

I give my coins to the cashier -who's looking at me like he found the last Dodo- and walk out, coke in hand.. the phone rings again.

this time I know the number, a friend I havent seen for a year maybe, a friend of the family, she lives in the UAE, and has a daughter almost my age..


she goes: "Ibn el-kalb sarsari adabsiz you dare hang up on me?"

Ibn el-kalb: son of a dog, a REALLY bad (or good) swear-word down here.

sarsari and adabsiz: from Turkish I think, meaning without any morals whatsoever.

I go: "Huh??" at this point, my friends are grabbing for the phone, they think its the same girl and want to have THEIR shot at her since I obviously blew mine. oh, and I'm hearing giggling in the call background.

she's like: "Yeah you hang up on me? You got something stuck up in there? Why so uptight?"

I apologise for the next 5 minutes, she's laughing but still insulting my esteemed person.

turns out she arrived, got my number from my mom, got all the family together and called me, trying to bait me into talking thru her phone's loudspeaker so MY family could have a few laughs on MY expense.. what she didnt count on was:

1- I am spoken-for now, a fact which few of the family know about. henceforth any thoughts of this kind of stuff is punishable by pain of death. hey easy there Mucha! I know ur reading this! :)

2- Even if I wasn's spoken for, I come from Iraq. EVERYBODY IS SUSPICIOUS OF EVERYBODY. I wouldnt believe anything if I didnt see it in the flesh, and even then, there's room left for doubt.

3- and most important: I AM A DORK. Never knew how to open conversations with girls, even if I accidentally did, it would somehow ALWAYS revert to study, school, computers, and video-games. Dorky Stuff.

Funny thing is, my family (and the lady) see me in a totally different light.. I actually gained a little bit of respect in their eyes..

before I was the dorky smarty never-do-goody child.

now I am the dorky smarty never-do-goody man.


Why do people insult you for doing something, then praise you for it twenty minutes later?

Is it true that girls always settle down with the good guys? *Cough* Dorks *Cough*

Why do we want to have fun making fun of other people?

Do I need a shower?

I dont know.

I dont know.

I dont know.

I dont know.

tell me if you do.

oh and by the way, it was the mother not the daughter who called me. she's a good friend and one of the few who can put up with my dorkyness.. To apologise she invited me to dinner..

feed the belly to silence the brain. nice.
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